How To Stop Dating Jerks!

You have had 50 odd dates none of which seems to work. You may have hit 25 second dates without any further leads. You still experience a kind of emptiness in your life that seems to grow deeper and darker with the frequent appearance and disappearance of jerks in their truest form. Thoroughly annoying and deeply disturbing, these abstract elements of nature are seldom at rest themselves nor do they allow their new acquaintances to experience something gleeful.

If you find yourself trapped in a vicious circle where only such geniuses appear in your life like a hot humid day in mid-summer when you can neither access the air conditioner nor the pool… here are a few potent ways in which you can break the cycle…

Identifying jerks –

To begin with, identifying classic jerks is necessary to avoid dating them. The bad news is, there are no hard and fast rules as far as classification of jerks is concerned. But, on the other hand, you can make the discovery with a little conscious effort on your part. You could begin with taking some time off and note down in pen and paper, all the characteristics of all the unsuccessful dates you have had so far.

You are sure to find something common between these lists of characteristics. Try not to include the outer beauty in all this because, it is the personality, behavior, thoughts and beliefs that make the real difference. This does not however, mean that any person who thinks differently or does not nod his head at everything you say is a jerk.

If your chosen date is open about his feelings and does not create sugar coated lies to make you happy, this does not mean you should brand him as a jerk. A true jerk is someone who will make you feel bad about who you are and what you do; and any move of yours will be subjected to his snide remarks and brutal mental assault.

Choosing right –

You will never get to know a person till the time you meet him. So the first date is a must under all circumstances. Once you meet him, try not to lay out your traps and weapons to bring out the hidden jerk in him. Go through the date normally and behave normally till the time your date starts to show his true colors.

If he is making cruel un-thoughtful jokes, if he appears to be the sort who has never heard about holding the door for the ladies, if he goes about the entire date bragging about his achievements in life, if he begins to narrate what your position will be after the two of you get married etc. take the clue, take a bow, run for life and never return.

Awkward Dating Moments All Ladies Should Accept With Grace!

Life is not always a bed of roses. In fact, there are times when life becomes an unbearable drag through the mud. These are also the times when you feel the urgency to invent time machines that could take you to the past and make certain incident un-happen or to chance upon a random invisibility cloak that could make you disappear till the time it is safe to emerge.

When these embarrassing awkward moments happen when you are on your date, a certain level of trauma can possess you for a period of time. You may also find yourself reflecting upon ‘what just happened!’ for as long as it takes you to recover. Most ladies would agree that men can actually get away with embarrassing moments far more easily than the fairer gender which is a myth that always makes the situation worse.

Here are a few very common and often unexpected occurrences that may have been experienced by almost all ladies in their initial phase of getting to know someone better…

  • Bodily functions accidentally exposed – When men express their interest in learning about the deeper hidden secrets of their date interest, they certainly don’t mean their bodily functions. Audible display of flatulence, burps or the-other-one can be VERY awkward.

This is because your gentleman would usually not know how to react or what to say to make it not-so-awkward. On the other hand, you may wish to crawl behind the pot and pass away till next century. While not many geniuses can tell you as to what you could do to overcome the situation, you will be better off not saying ‘that was not me!’

  • Falling and recovering – Graceful skirt, elegant stilettos, flawless make up and chin held high… you descend from the staircase like an angel without wings. All this is till the time you miss a step and bump down the rest of the flight with your graceful skirt nesting gleefully over your head. What must you do now? Just get up and take a bow.
  • Snorting while laughing – This is classic. Your date cracks a joke or says something that really tickles your funny bone. These are times when you can no longer put up the impression of the dainty belle whose laughter rings like a wind-chime. You let out a loud snort attracting public attention. What must you do? Keep laughing and pass out.
  • Inebriated glory – You are finally happy and having a great time. So, you order two more of the Long Island Ice Tea thinking you can hold better than a tusker, but that does not happen. You slur and blurt, your bodily functions are at its peak as your date drops you back home. The good part is… you may not remember it all in the morning.

Individual solutions to individual issues may be difficult to locate. But what never fails is the art of laughing at you. This is a quality that can help you sail over the most trying times with the world laughing ‘with’ you than ‘at’ you.

Learn the Benefits of Jealousy- How it can Work for your Relationship

Who could ever think that “jealousy” could have something positive about it? Remember the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, where Julia Roberts tried all the tricks in the book to stop her best friend played by, Dermot Mulroney from marrying his girlfriend. The news of her friend’s marriage had triggered a fierce jealousy in her, making her behave insane and do everything against her nature.

How we pitied her case!!Nevertheless, it was a movie. But such things do happen in real life and the outcome can be pretty worse in the real case. However, here we are going to harp on the positives of this emotion, working in favor of a relationship. Read on…..

1. Not taking for granted: Only when one is stung by the pangs of jealousy, he/she starts taking notice of his /her partner’s presence. Jealousy can prompt one to show how important their partner is to them. You start showing concern in your partner’s affairs, not the possessive type but a loving feeling of care. You realize the importance of your relationship. It’s the nudge which reminds you what’s dear to you. So before you are hit by such faulty emotions, take care not to ignore her presence.

2. Communication booster: Now this is interesting, jealously can really make you talk, something which you had denied your partner earlier. A healthy communication is the key to any relationship, so if you are bottling up your feelings, this can mean something’s not going the right way, getting her/him side tracked and look for other pleasures. So if jealously is acting the game changer in your case, start by being vocal and assertive about your feeling. Saying something like, “I got a little jealous when you spoke with that hottie!” can work wonders.

3. Motivating to be a better partner: Those hit by jealousy are well aware that something is not working in their favor. Such aspects can be motivating enough and help you take the positive step towards changing it.Generally witnessed among women putting on extra kilos, they feel highly insecure that their husband or partner will not love them anymore; they are always on the lookout to catch their better half’s red-handed flirting or ogling at others.Attention! Instead of keeping a strict check on him, try getting help yourself. Loose those extra pounds, and be the beautiful self that he had loved in the first place. Your efforts will be greatly rewarded.

4. Insecurity radar: Insecurity is a great relationship booster. It makes you alert and keeps you on your toes. You now start giving a damn about what’s going on in your partner’s personal space, why he/she gets offended often and more. You now reflect on the issue and on ways of rectifying them. Psychologists say that many starts behaving silly just to grab attention, and it does work great.

5. A sense of mutual assurance prevails: If you are feeling jealous for some unsaid reason, try thinking this way, it has started to matter you how satisfying reassurance is. Now you want your partner to repeat all those sweet compliments that he ones showered you with, earlier which you never took heed. You hang on his word, to hear an occasional praise or two.Funny! See what jealousy did to you.How you wish he says “there’s nothing to be jealous about,you are everything to me”. So value the relation before it’s too late.

Flirtexting is The Way To Go!

You’ve finally gotten hold of your crush’s number. And really want to make him like you. Wondering how? Flirtext! Here we have tips for you, to flirt over texts and get your crush’s attention!

Keep it simple!

To begin with, never start your conversation with ‘Hey! What’s up?’. This one is over used and surely not a conversation starter anymore. You can expect to be ignored if this is what you send! Try beginning your conversation with something funny or maybe a question which would be hard to ignore by your crush. Something like, “Hey Hottie! The ad of your favorite band’s concert that’s happening this weekend made me think of you! You going?” Or maybe, something more playful like “Hey Stranger! Have you turned a zombie? You’re kinda haunting me!” Also, something like, “The dreary green walls at my workplace make me feel like I’m enveloped in a mossy box. Have any advice?” Leave your guy with something to reply for and not just a ‘Nothing much. What about you?’ Make the conversation lively.

Keep it light and funny

Use quirky humor and comparisons like “I’m so bored that I might help the dogs chase cars!” or maybe something like, “I feel like a nut. You like nuts, don’t you?” Sometimes, the coolest of conversations have no particular topic but they hang on for hours and make you laugh. It really is not required to have the conversation going on about something serious. When flirting, fun is the key.

Send cool images depicting what you feel

It got to be preferably funny, sarcasm or irony! You could get that from AcidAunty, SomeEcards or 9Gag. They are totally fun and is sure to add more fun to your conversations.

Use emoticons :A lot of them

You could literally have conversations with just emoticons! Smileys totally change the meaning of a text and you could use hearts, kisses and xoxo’s subtly to get that hint across.

Appreciate!

“You’re so funny. You make my belly hurt!” or ‘I just lost my bolts and screws. Could you help me find it- You cracked me up!” Compliment him about his looks- “Is it the weather or is it you?” or something like “Quite a smarty pant you are!” It sure gives them an ego boost and would make them want to talk to you more often!

Hit on the common interest “chord”

If there’s nothing you can find to carry forward the conversation, use common interests like a hobby, music, a TV serial or even food! ” Tried the new doughnut shop tonight. You really need to check it out!” or something like, “I’m craving to dig into a jar of nutella, but it would be fair on my part to not share it with you!”

Something as simple as, “Shakira look stunning in that music video of ‘Can’t Remember To Forget You.” Choices are galore and creativity is the key!

Make plans

“Some friends are going bowling tomorrow night Would you like to join?” Guys like women who take the initiative or make the first move.

Leave him wanting for more

Make him know that you look forward to texting with him again-  “Past my bedtime. Talk tomorrow?” or something like, “You’ve made me look like a laughing hyena today. And I don’t think I can laugh anymore without going insane. Look forward to the dosage tomorrow.”

Safe tip: If you feel like your conversation has reached a plateau, then time to say buh-bye before you both completely lose interest in each other! Start again, and try to make it look effortless.

She Might Be Hiding A Lot from You- Check Out When?

Guys beware.. Your date is not always what you think her to be. She has been hiding and making up many things, but be patient; she will reveal them with time. Not that you can blame her for all, as you too try out such tricks. It’s just some odds of scoring high in the appreciation territory. But, its time you learn about some of the hints she drops daily and what she really means instead.

1.”When she says I’m a huge sports fan”-

Spending countless hours with you in front of the big screen, pretending to have fun doesn’t make her a sports fanatic. You might be thinking she is too much into the game,and without bothering where her roving mind is, you act the commentator which she secretly abhors. It’s wrong on part of the girl too, to unwillingly bear with it, when she can politely excuse herself from this drama. Inherited notion like she must love what you do is what create the trouble. While it’s great to support each other’s passion, but watching something to make one happy will only foster resentment. Instead let her know cordially that you are absolutely fine with the idea if she doesn’t join the whole ‘sporty’ affair.

2.” I like my Independence”-

Everybody enjoys their freedom, and space, so when in a relationship it’s no exception, the rules remains same. Girls like taking things slow and steady. They have this tendency to analyze, introspect and evaluate every second spend with you. But, this doesn’t mean that you leave her unattended, giving her all the time in the world to do so. She might tell you to go out and hang with your buddies, but may get offended that you aren’t actually by her side. Difficult to understand, indeed! Reputed clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg says that the strategy is to be vocal in these matters. You need to let her know that you are into her, and make her feel secure in the bond. Reciprocate with small gestures or text her some pick-up line when away from her, like “just thinking about you” or “listening to your favorite song”. This is enough to make her feel wanted.

3.”I’m cool with the fact that majority of your friends are girls”-

This may sound relieving, that finally you have an understanding girlfriend who is okay when you spend time with your other girl-pals. But no, such things don’t happen in reality; no matter how much she professes about her being fine with it.Guy-girls friendship can cause a lot of jealousy. Even if your friends are all platonic pals, she is bound to have some issues, though she might not react to it. Such instances needs tact. Don’t ditch your female friends; instead show her that you care about her enough to be jealous, this might worry her less about you straying off.

4.”I’m low maintenance”-

Actually it’s just the vice-versa. Low maintenance girls never need to utter such phrases. This could only mean that your partner is afraid of coming off as difficult or demanding or yes ,high maintenance! Obviously she will not be a fool to kick off a first date with a list of demands, but if you find yourself complaining about a difficult ex or talking about your dislikes, then watch you words. You might be unknowingly giving her the impression that she need to put on a super laid back show, not encouraging enough to be her actual self.

5.”I’m fine”-

Girls usually speak out in such a manner when she is genuinely trying to hide that she’s upset. Saying “I’m fine” is much easier than telling the truth, as the truth can often flare you up or she thinks you won’t understand and it will only add to your problems. Don’t heartlessly drop the issue, instead coax her to tell you what’s actually troubling her. Lending a good ear makes her feel cared.

8 Sure Shot Ways to Win Over an Argument with your Guy

Who doesn’t want to win all the arguments with their guy? So, if you want to win every argument effortlessly and sound like you’re the epitome of righteousness, you’ve got to try out the following. And watch yourself win every argument, like a dream.

1) Don’t raise your voice. Never raise your voice, so what if he’s screaming the roof down. Losing your temper will only worsen the matter. Stay calm and composed. And give him a tender or tight hug if you feel he needs it.

2) Kill with kindness. Do everything he needs- cook for him, even if you’re bubbling with anger. Help him like you always do, but with a kind smile. Fight with flattery. Tell him that he’s perfect and how competent he is. Blow up the balloon with flattery, only to later burst it mercilessly with the sharp of a needle that is, your words! Feeling the sadistic pleasure already?- We bet you are!

3) The Girlies Game Ball. This particular tactic is highly effective, but needs some experience to pull off the right way. Gently bring up the general topic of argument in front of your girlies when your guy is around too. Make sure to have the topic a little twisted to favor you! Nudge your girlies to give their opinion about the topic and watch your guy feel the pathos of what you’ve been feeling expressed by your girls. Bait with your brain!

4) Give him alone time. Fight. And then leave him alone to retrospect on his actions. And you can be sure that he will return, maybe a few hours later and will be back to his jovial self. He may not apologize, but you know you’ve won over him!

5) Raise the guilt meter. Take the blame and watch them melt at sight. Tell him that it is all your fault and apologize with your puppy dog, angelic faces. And not for once express that you’re really not sorry. Else it can completely backfire on you! You could use the emotional blackmail strategy- “If you love me, you would…” This works perfectly with baby faces.

6) Turn it into a Sexual Rampage. Also known as the carrot-and-stick method turned around! If he’s continuously going on and on, just grab and kiss him hard. That is all that’s required to shut him up. Take him by surprise and go south downwards and watch the whole essence of the argument fizzle out only to be replaced by happy faces.

7) Don’t air dirty laundry on social media platforms, for heaven’s sake. It is sure to trigger the whole argument. Remember, that there’s something called privacy and the world doesn’t need to know about this. Keep it under covers. You guys don’t want to be the gossip of the town.

8) When all else fails, cry! Soften him up with your tears, so what if they are crocodile ones. This one, if overused could lead to disastrous results. So, choose the argument carefully and shed tears only on the argument you think you really can’t win.

Certain Effective Tips To Successful Conversation On First Date

You may have managed to dress as a perfect gentleman / lady; you may also have earned a point of two for showing up in time. But, what could fall as a crippling axe to the whole affair are certain seemingly insignificant aspects of conversation which when noticed by the other party, can ruin your chances at winning a second date for certain. However, there is no reason to panic because a little preparation can help you ensure infusing effectiveness to your conversation with a stroke of success. Keeping the following points in mind could help you achieve miles in this respect…

1) Switch off your mobile phone or keep it on silent – To begin with, you must ensure keeping your mobile phone switched off or on silent mode all through the date. If you need to take important calls, excuse yourself for a very short while, wrap up your business and return with a humble ‘sorry’ on your lips. DO NOT EVER fiddle with your phone no matter how smart it is, while conversing with your date. It is, very simple words, ‘disrespectful’.

2) Commence your conversation with general friendly topics – It does not matter if you are a rock star or a rocket scientist, it is imperative on your part to commence your conversations with general topics where both of you van participate equally. Discussing likes and dislikes favorites and otherwise is a good way to proceed.

3) Allow the other person to participate – It is not fair to run the conversation mile all on your own while the other person gapes at you looking for a chance to be involved. It is rude and annoying to go on talking without lending your ears to your date and listen to what he / she has to say.

4) Don’t talk with your mouth full – This is classic. Excitement and habit are the two factors that cause people to talk with their mouths full and either way is not acceptable. For all you know, your date may excuse herself / himself from the table and never get back.

5) Try not to scare your date with highly polished vocabulary – It is true that too much slang and too many words with altered meanings are not appealing, but it is also true that speaking in perfect 18th century English could scare the heartbeats out of your date. People like dating people and not dictionaries. So keeping it mild and keeping it right could help immensely.

6) Try not to show off or even undersell yourself – Tooting your own horns is a massive put off. You may have earned many awards and accolades; you may have established a fortune all by yourself; you may have earned degrees and diplomas on subjects that no one can pronounce… when you go on and on about it, the charm is all lost.

Being true, being yourself and being accommodating is all that matters in striking the winning stroke while conversing. Keeping the mentioned factors in mind is sure to help in keeping you at the right track.

Topics You Must Never Raise For Conversation On Your First Date

A feeling of slight discomfort, a sense of shyness and a touch of nervousness is common to experience in your first date. You may have spent hours chatting with this individual on your chosen dating website for months together, but when it comes to meeting the person face to face, you are sure to quiver a little under your skin. This sensation of bashful shakiness can affect the conversation you strike with your date. And as many with firsthand experience would agree, a prolonged bad conversation can kill all chances to carry the date the merry fruitfulness.

As far as mood killers go, here are a few topics you must try to avoid by every sense of the term and at any point of your conversation through your first date…

1) Sad stories of past dates – First dates are supposed to be all about happiness and thrill and not about reading paragraphs from the book of the dead. So, try and focus on positive aspects of your life that could bring a smile on the face of your date than otherwise.

2) The weather, climate, politics – These three topics are sure to bore your date and motivate him / her to abandon the event altogether and run for life. These topics are usually raised at ladies tea parties than otherwise.

3) Lengthy details of your extended family – The first date is the time when your chosen one would love to know more about you than your extended family. The other person is sure to become inattentive and eventually tune you out completely if you begin offering detailed introduction to your uncles, aunties and cousins.

4) How you wish to have your dream wedding – You may have had your plans laid out on a silver tray waiting for materialization, but it is not necessary that you date has also arrived with the intention of earning a wedding ring. This is thus, one of those topics which are best when left alone.

5) Your toilet habits – Whether you like shaving your legs or you don’t, whether you like your toilet seats up or down, whether you like using a loofah or sponge… No One Needs To Know especially on the first date. It is good enough to ensure that you date sees you clean and nothing else matters.

6) A detailed analysis of your addiction story – It is not uncommon to have addictions. However, unless your addiction is reading and nature watching, try not to include it in the conversation. This way, you will certainly end up arousing suspicions of your date and this will never see a good ending.

7) ‘Me, Me and Me’ throughout the date – You may have suffered loneliness for a while. But this is no reason to go on blabbering about you all through the date. You must maintain a balance in communication, allowing the other involved individual to participate equally.

Lending an attentive ear to your date is equally important. In fact, this could be the key to earning the faith of the latter and eventually succeed in getting you a second date.

5 Traits That Men Look For In Their Women

It’s a very wrong notion a woman has, that they get to choose the guy on the sheer knowledge that they are beautiful. But no, this is not the case every time. Guys too like to have a say in such matters. The eligibleones are ascompetent in the decision making departmentas the girls think themselves too be!

So, here’s stating 5 fundamental traits that men look for in their dream girl:

1. He prefers a girl having a life of her own: Ladies, thismeans that you should take ample care of yourself, pay attention to your personal style, look and yet find time to hang with family and friends. You should also be an adventure seeker, indulging in the sunnier aspects of life and taking life at its face value. The go –getter! You don’t expect your boyfriend to be your sole existence, not waiting for him to show up every time, to actually get your life started in real sense.

2. Be sexy without being trampy: Though sex is always the ultimate thing in a guy’s mind yet it is a great offender if his girl mouths something overtly sexual. She is expected to behave rather coyly than flirt and make sexual advances at the first go. It’s only when the relationship gets more serious and presumably more intimate, it’s okay to play footsie under a table.

3. She should be her boyfriend’s besthelmswoman: Help him look good in front of his peer and friends. Be the encourager; laugh at his jokes and make him shine well in front of others. Of course, he will do the same for you.

4. She never turns on the pressure:  Men have a distinct aversion to any sort of pressure. Women should avoid calling or messaging many times during the day,no matter how much they miss him. Dropping hints about the future, and the dreaded M-word (read marriage) is an absolute no; this can really get them hyper. Men would rather enjoy the relationship than constantly take the pulse of getting tied to it.

5. She should not tolerate crap…from anyone: A good, loyal woman never tolerates bad behavior.To earn the due respect, ladies, you should prove it with your actions that you are just not open to anything. If he knows that there’s a penalty…like the relation ending up in a breakup for a serious violation like cheating, he’ll definitely respect you more. And he will be far less likely to do it, not even muster the courage to ogle or flirt with another, at leastnot when you are around. You should also never date a married man, guys who already have girlfriends or anyone who verbally or physically threaten or abuse.

There is definitely more to the list, but these are top 5 fundamentaltraits from a guy’s perspective. He would definitely love to have such a woman in his life. So, ladies don’t fake such a behavior, rather be the sweet gentle self that you want menfolk to fall for.

5 Signs To Know That Your Relationship Is Heading Nowhere!

Stuck in a bad relationship, but somehow forbearing it due to your own overrated sense of loyalty? This is simply torture! Stop reminding yourself of the sweet moments spend together in each other’s company, if the bloke has become nagging or oppressive, show some grit and chuck him out from your life, before you are doomed forever.

Many have this habit of reasoning that problems come as part of relationships, and maintaining peace is the best tonic for the health of the affair. But how long! How are you going to struggle with the failing alliance? Let’s help you face reality:

Here are 5 signs detailed below to assist you in understanding where the relationship is actually heading to.

1. You feel like you can’t do anything right-the person constantly demeans you and finds fault with you at every spur. He mocks your personality, privately and publicly, making you ashamed of yourself. No matter how persuasive you are, he somehow finds an occasion to belittle your personality, by continuously comparing with others. At the end of the day, you are just left repenting of having met him. It takes away your inner strength and leaves you depressed.

2. Everything is about him, you are a non-entity to him-That you have feelings is something he never realizes; you are never there in the picture. You words doesn’t matter, your opinion omitted, making you clueless about your existence in his life. You are nothing more but a puppet in hands. A toxic partner seldom asks about you. If you somehow get your point through, he will blame you for being self-centered, and quickly turn the conversation back on themselves.

3. Sharing an occasional light, fun moment becomes an extinct chapter-Everyday becomes a challenge; he always seems to have issue. He is like the demi-god trying to control your every mood. Even your laugh is a slave to his command, for which you need to seek permission. Such a partner mostly hangs on the negative aspects: a mental state from which they suffer but probably won’t admit it.

4. Discomfort is all you are left with in his presence-He is your lord, and before doing something you are required to take permission. You have to put on a fake attitude or a different face just to ensure that he is happy in your presence. You realize you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, you are like walking dead to your friends and family, someone with drained emotions!

5. You feel like you are not allowed to grow and change-whenever you show some enthusiasm regarding something –like expressing your aims, desire, your career goals and if not anything then just speaking on the growth of the relationship, there is no encouragement or support that you get from the other side. Instead he insists that you will never be any different from what you are now.

So, beware! Such caricatures are harmful than a disease and is definitely not recommended for you. If you want to keep up your mental sanity, leave this nagger behind before you lose your own identity.

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